Used Mentioned Title Lyrics Day/Time
Sheamus
Candice Michelle
Trishta
Shawn Michaels
Ted DiBaise
Michael Cole
B-Zero
Evan Bourne
Cody Rhodes
Chris Jericho
Impersonal Meetings None Sunday 4:45 PM


..:: Scene One || Backstage || Sunday 4:45 PM ::..

I found meself in a particular odd mood when I woke up. I didn’t know why exactly but as I approached the arena I noticed it was botherin’ me more and more. I walked in through the back door expecting sumone, probably Evan, to approach me but no one did. Everyone seemed to be doin’ their own thing and had little time to waste on me. I took it like I always take things of that nature. I sucked it up and went on with me business.

I slowly made me way me locker room where I knew Candice would be waitin’ fer me. Seein’ her would put an end to this crazy mood swing I was havin’. As I made me way to the locker room, me eyes cast down onto the floor, I suddenly bumped into sumone. I readjusted my eyes to peer at the body in front of me. I rolled me eyes when I found it was none other than Trishta.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"What is it ya want lass?"

'lovely' Trishta:
"Hey man it was you who bumped into me. What do you want?"

I laughed and shook me head.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Why would I want sumthing from ya? Why would anyone in their right mind want anything from ya?"

'lovely' Trishta:
"Then I suggest you watch where you are going next time "fella".

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Cute. Real cute. Hey you know there could be one thing ya could do fer me."

'lovely' Trishta:
"What is it? Take a message to Cody? I already told you. I'm not a messenger."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Well I just thought ya might wanna make yaself useful. I mean it's not like ya have anything else gonna fer ya."

'lovely' Trishta:
"I'm a double champion which is more than I can say for you right now."

I laughed again.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Lass titles. Ya sure, double champion with lass titles. That's really impressive there."

'lovely' Trishta:
"Yeah it is impressive Sheamus. But I don't see anyone like you respecting anything like that. Now if you will excuse me I have important things to do and standing here talking to you isn't one of them."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Before ya leave just understand this. I haven't forgotten what ya little man did last week and I'm gunnin' fer him. When I'm through with him ya will have to put back together the pieces, if ya know what I mean."

'lovely' Trishta:
"Like I said before, whatever problem you have with Cody can be taken up with him. Leave me out of it fella. Now excuse me."

She rolled her eyes and walked past me without even stopping to see she had bumped right into me. I shook me head and continued me journey to me locker room. I finally found me locker room and wondered why they had put it so much off to the side. I walked inside to find Candice in a lovely dress sitting on a steel chair reading a book. I threw me back to the side and stood in front of her.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"I bumped into me good friend Trishta a few minutes ago. Is she constantly on the rag or sumthing?"

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"I dunno. Probably, yeah."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"So what's on the agenda today sweet manager of mine?"

Candice sighed.

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"Well you've got a backstage interview here in a few minutes. Then I guess you've got a ring interview after that. Fun times, I tell you."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Ya, fun times. I dunno about --"

I was suddenly interrupted by Shawn Michaels and The Million Dollar Man enterin' me locker room. They looked at me before grinnin'.

'HBK' Shawn Michaels:
"Can we sit down?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"What did I tell ya lads about entering me locker room without knockin'?"

'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase:
"And I told you as far as the The Million Dollar goes I don't need permission to enter a locker room."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Right. Well since ya already here may as well sit down."

They both found an empty chair and took a seat. I took a seat next to Candice, across from them.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"So what is it lads? What can I do fer ya?"

'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase:
"It's more of what we can do for you Sheamus. You see, I take a keen eye to talent that is like myself. I have noticed you are very talented Sheamus and I think we could work something out that is beneficial for both of us."

'HBK' Shawn Michaels:
"See Sheamus it's like this. I helped you out last week when you had both Cody and Jericho on your hands. So now I think it's time for you to return the favor."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Let's just get one thing straight. I didn't ask fer ya help out there. I had everything under control."

'HBK' Shawn Michaels:
"Right, sure you did. Listen Sheamus, I didn't come here to make an enemy of you. I came here with a proposal."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"A proposal?"

'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase:
"Yes, a proposal. You see Sheamus I know how much you hate Chris Jericho and Cody Rhodes. We hate them too. So I am here to offer you a little bit of cash to take them out for me."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"You want to pay me to take out Rhodes and Jericho? Well, I would take them out fer free but since ya want to pay me, how much?"

'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase:
"I am willing to pay you 250,000 dollars to take out Rhodes and Jericho."

I sat back in me seat. It was a lot of money that much was clear. But the question was, was I ready to be bought off like a common hit man?

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Well, that's a lot of money. But why are you offerin' me money to take out these two?"

'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase:
"Because I hate them. I hate them as much as you hate them and I recongize good talent when I see it. You're a good talent Sheamus."

I sighed and considered the proposal. I could find some good use for that amount of money. I looked over at Candice who was sitting with a blank look on her face.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"What ya think?"

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"Well it's a lot of money and you were thinking about taking those two idiots out anyway. I don't see why not."

I turned me attention back to DiBiase and HBK.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Alright, ya got yaselves a deal. But don't think I'm just gonna be jerked around like a mutt on a chain because ya are payin' me."

'HBK' Shawn Michaels:
"No one is going to jerk you around on a chain Sheamus. We just thought you were a good business man and it's true. You know a good deal when you see one."

I got to me feet as HBK and The Million Dollar man got to their feet as well.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Alright lads. I guess we're done here then."

DiBiase and HBK stuck out their hands for me to shake them. I took the gesture in good faith and shook their hands. They grinned at me before turning to walk out the door.

'HBK' Shawn Michaels:
"Alright then. We'll be seeing you around Sheamus."

I watched the two of them leave my locker room. I took a seat again on me chair as Candice took a seat beside me.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Do you think it's a good idea?"

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"I think it's a good idea. I mean 250,000 dollar is a lot of money."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Ya, we'll see."

I relaxed in me chair and waited fer me backstage interview to start.


..:: Scene Two || Backstage || 5:30 PM ::..

I stood backstage waiting fer Michael Cole to ask the most annoying questions ever asked to a man. Sumthing about him just annoyed the hell outta me. I rolled me eyes and waited fer him to talk. I sucked it up and decided it was best to answer his questions instead of force him away. With Candice by me side I could endure anything.

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"Hello WWE:Attitude Universe. I'm here with Sheamus. Sheamus, how do you prepare for a triple threat match like this?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"How do I prepare? I prepare like I prepare for any match. With hard trainin' and focus. This match won't be any different fer me. B-Zero and Evan don't know what they've stepped into. Ya may argue that Evan knows what is gonna on but he doesn't because I'll be more focused and engaged in this match than the first time we met. Evan will be squashed like the maggot he is and as for Zero, he won't know what hit him. It'll be enough fer him to go cryin' to his little slut girlfriend. You'll be cryin' how you failed her again. It won't be a pretty scene. You'll be cryin' how you have fooked up yet again. You'll cry that you don't deserve the love and patience she extends to you. And you're right Zero, you don't deserve it. But tell ya girlfriend to come and see me. I'll change her mind real damn quick."

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"Val I know how you like to stick your nose in matches when you aren't wanted. But if you try to stick your big nose in this match, I'll be there to knock your ass out. Don't think for once I will have pity or mercy on you. I won't."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"Sheamus, how do you feel about facing Evan Bourne again?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"I feel that it sucks. I didn't grant the little maggot a rematch. I told him I would never face him again. Why would he want to face the man who put him out in five mintues fer anyway? I think he's stupid. He's stupid because he doesn't know the beatin' that is awaitin' him. He wants to step in the ring with me again? Well I won't waste one damned minute in focusing all my attention on him until he is eliminated and gone fer good. And after this match, I don't plan to have anything to do with the little midget ever again. But if he does survive, that means if I let him survive, and he does stick his nose in me business again, then I won't hesitate to bring down the full force of Hell down on his head. Ya see Evan gets lucky every once in a while but comin' this Monday, he won't be lucky at all."

I sighed, wishin' the interview were over but I knew Michael Cole had many more questions to ask.

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"Are you intimidated by B-Zero at all?"

I laughed.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Am I intimidated? The answer is no. See, no one initimdates The Irish Curse. B-Zero may talk a big game and he may go on and on about how he is gonna bring his best game to the ring, but it's just that. All talk. B-Zero is gonna be disappointed yet again by his performance this Monday. He is once again gonna have to apologize to his little girlfriend fer his lack of skills and wrestlin' ability. This Monday is gonna be nothing but a lose for B-Zero. Ya said that failure is sumthing ya good at Zero. I agree with that. Failure is sumthing ya have always had in ya life. Going back to when ya were a wee little Zero ya have known nothing but failure. The local little league football game. The local baseball game. They have always ended the same with ya. Pure failure. So go ahead and cry because there isn't a chance in hell ya are gonna win this match. Ya say ya manager shouldn't be managing a bitch ass loser like yaself and I agree. Hey, ya manager is pretty in that American creepy type of way. Send her over to a real man's camp and let her see what a real winner is like. Chances are she won't be returning to ya anytime soon."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"People say this is the night B-Zero makes a name for himself. What is your response to that?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Oh really? You want to know my response to a statement like that? I don't have much of a response because Monday night is NOT gonna be a Zero makin' a name fer himself. See the only thing that is gonna happen is me gonna out there and reigning down havoc and hell on both Zero and Bourne. The only thing that is gonna happen is me having me hand raised in victory and there isn't anything Zero or Bourne can do to stop it. B-Zero says he has been on this Earth for 29 years and has left no lasting mark on it. That is true. For 29 years it is nothing but disappointment but disappointment after one another. He's constantly saying he's sorry to sumone. Whether it be his girlfriend or his parents, he is always sayin' he is sorry. He is gonna be sorry again on Monday night because I am gonna beat him down like he is nothing. Then he is gonna be cryin' a whinin' to his girlfriend and parents how he isn't good enough to wrestle with the big boys anymore. He say's he has wasted every single chance he has ever had and I believe it because Zero seems like he is nothing but a waster. He waste time and he waste the attention of all the fans. The fans want to cheer fer sumone who is hugging things out instead of steppin' in the ring and settlin' them like a man. All that comes to a head on Monday night and I am more than ready fer it."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"What is your response to B-Zero wanting to impress others in this match?"

I laughed.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Impress others? It isn't gonna be a night fer others to tune in because he is gonna do nothin' but lose. He's gonna do nothin' but get beat down like the little bitch he is. After this match his little manager is gonna wonder if she is managing the right person. She is gonna wonder if she should manage sumeone else. When she does finally leave ya because I assume she has sumthing of a brain, it won't be a surprise ya Zero. When she does finally leave ya what are ya gonna do? Cry like a little girl? Well don't be cryin' to me because ya won't get any sympathy. Ya won't get any smpathy from The Celtic Warrior."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"With all the outside influences going on will you be one hundred percent focused on your upcoming match?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"With all the outside influences? Fella, I don't know where ya are comin' from but I can tell ya this, I don't like it. When I go into a match I am one hundred percent focused on beating whoever is unlucky enough to be in the ring with me. In me world there is no outside influences. There's only gonna to the ring and taking what is rightfully mine and on Monday that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"What about Tab? Where does your relationship with her stand?"

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Lad I don't like ya pokin' ya big nose into me business. If I wanted to air out me dirty laundry on national televison I would but the fact of the matter is I don't. So unless ya wanna end up like B-Zero and Evan are gonna end up then I suggest ya ask anothing question or leave."

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"I don't think you get it Michael Cole. You see, I am managing a future champion here in the WWE and there isn't anyone who is going to put a stop to us. Many will come and many will fall. So while you are diving into Sheamus' personal life we are going to have win after win. Tab doesn't worry me in the slighest because I know MY champion will overcome it."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"Do you see this triple threat match being a stepping stone to a championship match?"

I rolled me eyes.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Everything I do is a stepping stone to a championship match. Gonna out there and beating Evan in me first match here was a steppin' stone. Gonna out there and beatin' Jericho was a steppin' stone. Now I'm not one to brag BUT I've only two matches here and I've been in the main event one of them. Now this Monday I am in the main event again. The only reason people like B-Zero and Evan Bourne are in the main event is because I am there. Otherwise, they wouldn't have a shot at being in the main event. So ya I do see it a steppin' stone and I'm gonna step right over B-Zero and Bourne to get the victory."

'annoying' Michael Cole:
"Thank you very much Sheamus. Good luck in the upcoming match."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Thanks fella but I won't be needin' any luck."

Michael Cole nodded his head and slowly walked out of the locker room. I watched him go, feelin' a bit relaxed when he was finally gone. I didn't know why I got nervous during interviews but I did. Maybe it was the camera or maybe it was how creepy Michael Cole is. I turned to Candice and grinned.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"I'm glad that's over with. I hate that guy."

'candi-shop' Candice Michelle:
"Yeah me too."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"He's so creepy."

Candice nodded her head in agreement. I walked over and took a seat on a folding chair.


"Written On My Face" played loudly over the PA system as I stepped out onto the ramp with me beautiful manager by me side. I looked at the booing audience and all I could do was grin because they were so very stupid. If they only knew how much of a threat I was to everyone in the Dubya Dubya E then they wouldnta be booing me. They would be cheerin' because I would be bringin' quality entertainment to their pathetic lives. I pounded both sides of me chest and raised me arms. I started walkin' down the isle until I was at the ring. I allowed Candice to go up the steps before me. When she was on the apron I walked up the steel steps and joined her. I held the bottom rope open fer her and she held the ropes open fer me when she was on the other side. I got into the ring and was immediately handed a microphone.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Cut me music."

The music immediately went out.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Now I know ya all are about sick to death with Evan Bourne followin' me around and stickin' his nose in me business. I'm sick of it too. There is no reason fer Evan Bourne to follow me around. This Monday I will be puttin' an end to ya little hero. Ya, I know all about it. Ya all worship the ground Evan walks on which is so completely disgustin'. When Evan steps in the ring with me again he will be nothin' but a piece of road kill when I'm through with him. But I don't wanna waste so much time on a little hamster like Evan. I have another objective in me match. Taking out B-Zero. By the time I am finished with Zero he will wish he was back home doin' those pathetic commericals with his uncle, who happens to be dead by the way. Zero did ya kill him with ya stupidity? Dressin' up like Snooki fer a commerical? Ya can't be serious. I suppose when ya are a fat, no class loser then ya take what ya can get. The sad thing is that's probably the biggest accomplishment in his sorry excuse fer a life."

I dropped the microphone to the side and glared at the audience who was still booin'. I was use to it.

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"When ya were a kid Zero and ya were at home watchin' promos of that idiot Hulk Hogan and wishin' ya could be like him ya never thought ya would step in the ring with a beast like me. Ya never thought ya would be a wrestler because ya are so fat and so completely outta shape. Well here ya are in the big limelight and what are ya gonna do? Ya are gonna screw it all up because come Monday I am gonna destory ya. It will be a mercy killin'. Sumone like ya shouldnta be allowed to breath much less be a professional wrestler. Ya see, ya are steppin' in me ring and I don't take kindly to complete losers steppin' into me ring. Ya are what makes this company, this business look bad. Ya preach about wantin' to take the savagery outta the business. Well ya never had anyone like me to contend with. All ya matches have been nothin' but walks in the park. Come this Monday things are gonna change. I don't like ya Zero and I never have liked guys who are like ya. Ya say ya want to bring kindness and and carin' back to the Duyba Duyba E. Fella, I'll show ya exactly what kindness and carin' are all about. See, I'm not here to change anything. I'm here to be the champion and if ya aren't on board with being the champion then lad ya in the wrong business. But I can see sumone wantin' to do sumthing stupid like bringin' change to the Dubya Dubya E because frankly lad, ya can't do anything else. Ya will never be a champion."

'the celtic warrior' Sheamus:
"Ya see ya are completely different from me. I am gonna be a champion, it's only a matter of time. But ya are always gonna be the fat loser that ya see in the mirror every mornin'. While ya waste ya time tryin' to be polite and cordial I have been workin' hard to get where I am today. I am the most dangerous man on the roster today and there isn't anything ya can do about it. When ya step in the ring ya are gonna realize just how dangerous I am. Then it won't be all feely and love fat man. It'll be me beatin' ya face in like the wrestlin' reject ya are. I'm gettin' sick and tired of hearin' this rant about backstage politics. Backstage politics will be the least of ya worries come Monday. So get ready, get ya little girlfriend ready because Monday ya are facing a whole new beast."

Tá mé an Trodaí Ceilteach agus beidh reign mé síos ar tú míle hells.

"Be ready Zero and Evan because I'm comin' fer ya."

I dropped the microphone and immediately went to the turn buckles. I raised me hands because I knew me hands were gonna be raised in victory on Monday. I looked at the booing crowd for a long moment before jumping off the turnbuckle and goin' back to the center of the ring. I made me way outta the ring, stopping only to hold the rope open fer Candice. We walked backstage . . .